Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny was very proud of
Little Johnny was very proud of his Mangy Mutt He was playing with it when a passing gentleman stopped and asked Johnny What kind of a dog is that Johnny? He s a police dog sir the boy replied What A police dog? He doesn t look like one Oh I know it was Little Johnny s answer but you see sir he s in the secret service

Finding one of her students making
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground Ms Smith stopped to gently scold the child Smiling sweetly the Sunday school teacher said Johnny when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly faces it would freeze and I would stay like that Little Johnny looked up and replied: Well Ms Smith you can t say you weren t warned

Teacher fell asleep in class and
Teacher fell asleep in class and Little Johnny walked up to him Little Johnny Teacher are you sleeping in class? Teacher No I am not sleeping in class Little Johnny What were you doing sir ? Teacher I was talking to God The next day Little Johnny fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him Teacher Johnny you are sleeping in my class Little Johnny No not me sir I am not sleeping Angry teacher What were you doing ?? Little Johnny I was talking to God Angry teacher What did He say?? Little Johnny God said He never spoke to you yesterday

Little Johnny enters a barber shop
Little Johnny enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer This is the dumbest kid in the world Watch while I prove it to you The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other then calls Little Johhny over and asks Which do you want son? Little Johnny takes the quarters and leaves What did I tell you? said the barber That kid never learns Later when the customer leaves he sees Little Johnny coming out of the ice cream store Hey May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill? Little Johnny licked his cone and replied Because the day I take the dollar the game is ove

Joe was a successful computer programmer
Joe was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man His life was blessed with a loving wife 2 kids three cats and a dog Joe loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and was proud when his son little Johnny began asking to go along on Rusty s evening walks Little Johnny was an observant and curious child and one evening asked his father: Daddy why does Rusty always sniff that phone pole when we take him for his walk? Well Joe wasn t sure how he should answer his son How DOES one explain the way animals mark their territory to a 6-year-old? Stalling for time Joe asked What do you think he s doing Johnny? Johnny frowned in concentration then brightened and said I know I Know He s checking his P-Mail

Teacher asked her young students to
Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories There were all the regular types of stuff But then the teacher realised that only Little Johnny was left Johnny do you have a story to share ? Yes madam My daddy told me a story about my Mom She was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey a pistol and a survival knife She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops She shot 15 of them with the pistol until she ran out of bullets killed four more with the knife till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands Good Heavens said the horrified teacher What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story??? Stay away from Mommy when she s drunk



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